Mr. Shitcan Department: Rx Author: Bisonhead Era: 1987 Date: 04/16/05 During my naval time I kept geting shitcanned everywhere I went. During TemDu in Philly the electrical div. sent me to work in supply. On IKE I did 2 tours of Rx berthing and got sent to P2o2 during the yard period. Someone did not like me or something.

GOD Department: Rx Author: Bisonhead Era: 1988 Date: 04/16/05 Once when Gordon O. Dorsey was the RO, I did not know he was doing his watch to stay qualified in EOS. I was on control point with headphones on. Apparently the log recorder was not on the phones and left the speaker in EOS on. Scot Suri and I were having a conversation where we tried to use as many cus words as you could in normal conversation. (sort of imitating chowdales) Anyway, he heard us and came down to control point and told us that perhaps we needed english lessons taught to us by him in his cabin. We both disagreed and he left.

MMCS Massey Department: Rx Author: Bisonhead Era: 1988 Date: 04/16/05 Don't know if any of you knew him, but while I was in P2o2 in the yards I worked for him. He was your classic lifer turd. Could not wait to get back to sea. I think he really hated his wife. Being at sea was the only way he could get away from her. Anyway, during rehab of the personnel office, his service record was removed without anyone there knowing. We took it back to my apartment and burned it page by page. Months later I was passing personnel one day and there he stood, cussing some poor personnelman out because he could not transfer off without his service record. Serves that jerk right.

Cape Hatteras Department: Rx Author: Bisonhead Era: 1986 Date: 04/16/05 A bunch of us decided to take our motorcycles down to Cape Hatteras for a weekend. When we arrived at the beach campground it was dicovered that whoever was supposed to bring the tent forgot it. Nice. So unpack what we had and fire up the grill to cook hotdogs. The damn seagulls stole our hotdogs off the grill while they were cooking! Being that urine testing was in effect, LSD was our drug of choice. After partaking, we ran out of beer so we decide to go get more. Not a good idea. Somehow we made it back. On motorcycles ,in pitch black dark. That night we froze our asses off in the cool beach breeze that never stops. They would not let you have a bonfire, so we were removing all the small brush we could find and burning it in the grill. It was a pretty good fire for a while, but then there wasn't any brush left to burn. What a weekend.

Customs forms Department: Rx Author: Peter Era: 1983 Date: 04/16/05 On our return from each cruise, we all had to fill out customs forms for the crap we had purchased overseas. We were supposed to list the handicrafts we had bought, electronics, clothing, etc. ...On my forms, I would try to come up with as many euphenisms as I could for condoms (eg. French Letters, English Overcoats,...) Plus other phrases I would invent. (ie. sausage sheath, boner tube, ...) Hence, my entire customs form consisted solely of 20-30 entries of condoms. Our DO had to review each and every one of these forms - and got quite disgusted when he got to mine. It was obvious I was making a mockery of it... but as I was conforming to the letter of the law - my form was submitted to US Customs along with all the rest.

Strange trip to work Department: Rx Author: Charlie Era: 1982 Date: 04/24/05 One morning, in addition to our normal fog induced by demon rum, it was also foggy meteorogically speaking. Wags was driving us to work in his 62 Chevy and the rest of us were in various stages of sleep going up Oceana Blvd. We were suddenly awakened by a sudden thud. We had hit this dude on a bicycle. We were prepared to use our best Gitmo first aid training on him, but the dude just kept saying, "Lift me vertically" over and over. When the cops showed up, they said, "Oh no, not him again." It turned out this guy was a problem child for the Va Beach Police, so they just threw him in the car and said they'd take care of him. We never knew what became of this guy, but maybe he could have been like a real life Wino Bob.

Getting denuked is hard Department: Rx Author: elmo Era: 1983 Date: 04/25/05 Most of my time on ike was spent getting denuked with out getting busted. I tried many things that didn't work. I spent about 6 months in berthing when I failed my re-qual after 2 years. I took the test all three time I was allowed. Mysteriously I passed on the third time after failing the first 2 miserably. I didn't point that fact out to the RO as I didn't want the people in RT to get in trouble. I also spent about 4 days on 4 and 4's when I had Feed Control and I was on CTGUL looking for a paint brush and shooting the breeze with the UL, and LL watches.

denuked 2 Department: Rx Author: elmo Era: 1983 Date: 04/25/05 The RO came by and said to go back to our watch stations. I went to lower level to look for a paint brush. I heard an alarm on Feed Control and knew someone was messing with me. I went across Feed Pumps and met the RO coming down. He asked if I was Feed Control I said yes. He asked why I didn't come when I heard the alarm. I said I knew it was him doing it. After watch Bob Metro and myself were called to the RO office with Big Bob by God Amante. I wound up on 4 and 4's but still didn't get denuked.

Noodle...departing Department: Rx Author: Charlie Era: 1984 Date: 04/25/05 I got out on Monday, 8/6/84 on terminal leave. I had my physical and was ready to go, but I had to stay that weekend. By then, I was the last of the original Noodles left, and I was acting as Walt's mentor to carry on the Noodle tradition, as he did well. Wags and his girlfriend (now ex-wife) stayed in Va about a month after he got out, so Walt, Elmo and I hung out there that weekend getting really hammered together one last time. We ended up at Busch Gardens, walking around with Wild Irish Rose in some wineskins we picked up in Morocco. And we also visited ye old beerhall frequently and even rode some rides. We ended up at a Chinese resturant, where I was so hammered I passed out on the toilet. Wags and Walt dragged me out and laid me across the hood like a dead deer. After we left, I puked all inside Wags' car. The next morning, I checked out, changed into my jeans and Hawaiian shirt and entered civilian life. Ten days later, I joined PJ and Major Mike on the Road Trip.

Clang Clang... Peter, Departing Department: Rx Author: Peter Era: 1984 Date: 04/25/05 My departure off IKE was pretty much anti-climactic... The only thing memorable is that the prow-Chief tried to turn me back for not having shaved that morning. When I made it clear I was getting the f**k out of HIS NAVY, we both came to an understanding that I could depart immediately. I had spent 6 years fantasizing about this day - and when the time came, it was pretty uneventful... just a walk down the gangplank, 1/2 mile hike to my car and a drive off the base... My biggest "getting out fantasy" had been sitting at the rec center near the piers... watching the IKE sail away. I have heard stories of people who tossed their seabag into the drink, the moment they reached the gangplank. I understand Mark Jacobs (1 plant) barbequed his uniform. The melting corframs ended up ruining the barbeque grill.