Newport News Department: Ops Author: Arch Era: 1986 Date: 05/06/06 Part II - Blood and Guts During one night of unabashed drinking, Ted started puking up blood. Ted's specialty was downing a fifth of whiskey, a la John Belushi in "Animal House". Though I was inebriated, I knew I had to call for help. I told them that Ted was heavily drinking and on Antabuse. Poison Control asked if I wanted an ambulance. I was concerned, but the other guys said Ted had puked up blood before. I hesitantly said no ambulance is needed and hung up. Five seconds later, the phone rings. It's Newport News emergency services asking if I am sure we don't need an ambulance. Again, I poll the crowd, and the answer is no. (I also stupidly ask the caller how they knew my number - this in a time before widespread 911 and caller ID.) Ted is taken to a bedroom, where he sleeps it off. The next morning he emerges, looking fine. Ted cracks open a beer. Months later, Ted ended up in PNH with a seriously effed up pancreas. Hope you are well today, my friend.

Newport News Department: Ops Author: Arch Era: 1986 Date: 05/06/06 Part III - The "See Bag" Inspection Though we had our own apt., we were still junior enlisted. A seabag inspection was ordered, and the Chiefs in our division - fully knowing that whomever entered our apt. would get lubriously plied with alcohol - verbally argued as to whom would come our abode / conduct the inspection. An OSC won the lottery, he drove an ancient green Grenada as I recall. We immediately set out to get him drunk enough to not care about any seabag inspection. The Chief was more than willing to comply, and he pencil whipped the paperwork. As I'm sitting there, I note that our frisbee, used for de-seeding and joint rolling, is fully in view under one of our two couches - papers, some shake, and all. One good gander at it, and the goose is up. Well, thankfully, before he saw it, Chief excused himself to use the bathroom (ain't beer great ?). I shoved that frisbee as far as I could under the sofa. Whew.

Department: Engr Author: Era: 1996 Date: 05/08/06 When we pulled in from the '98 cruise one of the married guys had duty the first day inport. The other guy in our shop to have duty that day was our bible banging guy. The married guy's wife came onboard and the bible banging guy's family came onboard. Ok, who does not know where this is going? So the bible guy takes his family up to the shop to show him were he works. He opens the door and right there on the desk in the middle of the shop the married guy and his wife were doing what married people do. The bible guy tried to shut the door but it was too late, he had to explain to his family that what they had seen was not normal. He lived in shame from that point forward. He tell us over and over again what had happened for the rest of his time onboard.

Newport News Department: Ops Author: Arch Era: 1986 Date: 05/08/06 Part IV - Quarters (aka as "A Pukin' Dog") We played a lot of the drinking game 'quarters' in that apartment - and the card game "Grass" too, which was kinda like Uno, except it revolved around marijuana ;-) . One night, a game of quarters was on at the kitchen table. We were professional drinkers by this time, so often we drank on the side - as even a guzzling game like quarters moved a little too slow for us. Somewhere through an alcoholic fog, I saw a finger point at me and say, "Drink !". I grabbed a juice glass next to me and guzzled. It wasn't the designated drinking glass. It was a spittoon - replete with ashes and spent cigarettes that I had been smoking - belonging to the guy next to me. I immediately ran to the head and puked my guts out. Everyone else found this recent development effing hilarious. I then fell into bed - lights out, nobody home. I quit smoking that night for years, and even thinking about it for the next few years made me gag.

Newport News Department: Ops Author: Arch Era: 1986 Date: 05/08/06 Part V. - Cat Scratch Fever Of course, most squids were looking to get their dicks wet. On Saturday nights, the gang would tie a good buzz on, then head up to this club in Denbigh that only let females in from 7-10 p.m. to view Chippendale-type dancers. Then at 10 p.m., the guys were allowed in - all bets were off. I was engaged, and went back home often as possible to get my thing sticky. But the rest of the gang, they didn't do half bad. I came home one day and found Mick and some girl I had never seen before - in my bed. Let me remind you - my apartment, my bedroom, my sheets. I went off to get drunk. Drew brought home MILF's long before it was fashionable. He also brought home a girl that could've put him away for a long, long time. I recall loads of horny girls around during our beer bong parties, thanks to the Denbigh bar. And the other guy that was faithful to his girl - he used to jack off into a handkerchief and mail it to her once a month.

She's out there. Department: Air Author: ABH1 Era: 2000 Date: 05/10/06 I just read an article where Ike is out doing the COMPTUEX. I remember ours. I had choose to come off the deck and went to V-1 DC. I had the best rocks! They could roll with the best of them. Mcghee was book smart but no common sense. He had a air conditioner check to complete and shut down all the a/c to the computers in the radar room during our COMPTUEX. I had everyone yelling and screaming to get the a/c back up and my rock stood there and said my name is on that check and I'm not signing it off till its done. I laughed at him and said good man. He reluctenly got them back on line when the XO came looking and told him that was all well in goo but he really needed him to put them back on line so we wouldn't loose the war games. Did any one see Simmons last night on History channel. He's the CO of the Regan! Luckey CREW! Good man!

Div-O's Department: Rx Author: john the baptist Era: 1991 Date: 05/13/06 I was on IKE for 6 long years (the only options offered to me at my 4 yr point for transfer was another carrier. No, not even a tender.). Being the smallest division in Rx (and assumedly the easiest to control) they used to assign the new junior officers to our division. By new I mean right out of Power School new. Two memorable most memorable one's were: Ltjg Terchekcowitcz(sp) aka T-14 for the number of letters in his name. He was such a 'nice guy' and a complete pushover I think we pretty much ignored him and considered us Div-O-less during his reign. con't...

Div-O's Department: Rx Author: john the baptist Era: 1991 Date: 05/13/06 Ltjg Juan Orasco(sp) aka Scrappy Doo. He was very energetic and always fired up about everything and an Academy boy so he had the USNA 'enlisted people suck and can't be trusted brainwashing that the academy teaches so well. He was also about 5'2" short. I remember at a meeting we had in RT and he stood up to say something and before he could get a full sentence out from the back we heard 'Could you stand up'. It isn't as funny typing it out...maybe the look on his face made it a 'priceless' moment...but we giggled like school girls the whole meeting.

A non-sucky moment on IKE Department: Rx Author: john the baptist Era: 1991 Date: 05/13/06 The last ORSE I was involved in was around the time I was getting very short and after I had went to mast so other than drills I wasn't picked to paticipate...probably to keep me from saying something embarassing to the ORSE folks. Anyway one day after a 17-22 I ate at the Ike room but, being well rested like I was at the time I went up to vultures row to watch night flight ops. So I get up there, closed the door behind me and was greeted with complete darkness. Not just flight ops dark b/c they had finished and had the minimal amount of lights on but DARK dark. When my eyes adjusted all I could see was more stars than I had ever seen before in my life. I was enthralled. About that time I heard the ship whistle go off and the stars rotated above my head...we were turning. It was beautiful.

Ike Suck-eth Department: Ops Author: Ron Eureka Era: 1987 Date: 05/15/06 My sea/shore was like 30/24 as a DP3 (it's too long to remember exactly). I was literally counting down the days when a message from NAVBUPERS or whatever came into Personnel. Effectively immediately, my sea/shore was 34/24. Had they not had my transfer evals already done and put to bed, I think they would've seriously hit the skids on re-write. I had a bad attitude, and then some. Matter of fact, my last day on Das Boat, my chief made me sweep passageways all afternoon right until 4 p.m. as revenge, when he should've cut me lose before lunch. I could not believe it and still have nightmares to this day that I cannot determine my EAOS, and nobody can tell me when I can get off the pig. I had a 5 year enlistment on active duty as a DP, and I opted to tack the extra 4 months onto my enlistment - shows up on my DD214 as "at the request and convenience of the United States Government". It was a great 24 months of shore duty, esp. as I spent about half as a DP2. Whatever ...