Life in the Modern Navy Department: Rx Author: Mike Era: 2006 Date: 11/22/06 Check out life aboard the USS Linkin Park. I thought you guys would really appreciate this: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/42609

What the ???? Department: AIMD Author: JAKE Era: 1981 Date: 11/24/06 I went to the site mentioned above and was just wondering what the hell kind of shit was this guy on? I've done my fair share of drinking and drugging while on board but never thought life on IKE was anything like that, maybe thats how it is on the Lincoln.

The Onion Department: Ops Author: Anonymous Era: 2006 Date: 11/26/06 Relax Jake, www.theonion.com is a parody site. Majorly funny, if you ask me. Sometimes though, as we Ike vets know, real life is funnier.

Linkin park story Department: Rx Author: Dan Fuqua Era: 2006 Date: 11/27/06 For those of you who haven't already realized it yet, "The Onion" website is a humor/parody site, that has absolutely no bearing on reality. This webiste is designed to be a joke. This is in reference to the - www.onion.com story on the USS Abraham Linkin Park.

Must be a recruiter Department: AIMD Author: Brian Era: 1975 Date: 11/27/06 I like the part about how he flies around in his F-18. Didn't know enlisted guys could do that. I'm sorry I retired with that sort of stuff going on.

Re: Life in the Modern Navy Department: VA-65 Author: Era: 1985 Date: 11/27/06 Re: Life in the Modern Navy For those who don't know, the articles at www.theonion.com are all satire (in other words comedy that makes fun of real life) Its one of the funniest sites on the web. A sample of today's headlines include: Afghan Warlord Takes Anderson Cooper As 43rd Wife http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55456 Killer Swears Girl Was In Two Pieces When He Left Her http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55472 Chicago Rolls Out Cold-Weather Prostitutes http://www.theonion.com/content/node/55668 http://www.theonion.com Enjoy!

on watch in the CIC Department: Ops Author: Ron Eureka Era: 1987 Date: 11/27/06 I can't remember if I witnessed this or just heard about it. Some OS types told the LPO on watch they got a new guy in the division, he was already at work tracking contacts, a real go-getter. LPO says, "Huh, news to me ... " and walks over to him in the dim red light, only to find a blow up sex doll dressed up in dungarees and a ball cap propped up in front of a scope.

porn flicks in officer's country Department: Rx Author: tom fredette Era: 1981 Date: 11/29/06 In RC division we had a guy named Mark V__ aka the "Vile Rat" who was an afficianado of disgusting porn, and who kept a collection of about 50 8mm films in the RIM Room. We would spend many a night showing films to distinguished guests like RM Div LT Brody, Bristow and LDB/BDB, as well as RL Div Lt Cain, Moody and various mess cranks who would come down and cook steaks for us in return. One night, we had to show the films in one of the officer's staterooms, right down the hall from the RX Officers stateroom (CDR MacDonald). Somehow , he got wind of this and asked to attend. How could we refuse?? I'll never forget the sight of half a dozen senior RX Dept. officers intently gazing at some bestiality film we had picked up in Singapore like it was "Gone with the Wind" . . .

Ike bites Department: Engr Author: docsheg Era: 1977 Date: 11/30/06 The origin of IKE BITES, as I recall, had to do with our shakedown cruise, off the VA CAPES, when we encountered severe fog and had to sit off the coast, waiting for it to lift.The Nimitz had the senior officer onboard and was allowed in first. Anyhow, rumor has it that some guys in RL DIV OFFICE, including Chief Blanchard came up with the saying. The IB Bumper sticker was a rip off of a Nimitz sticker. Being a NON-NUC #1 PLANT, the squid referred to earlier who pulled his hair out was Leon Demotte. His saying was more like chink da yang yang, smiling while passing his hand over his mouth, we wanted to trade him to the nukes in #1 reactor as a mascot. He was almost written up for cussing out an supply type officer. I beleive it was the ELT who had an underground newspaper during the 79 med cruis. Someone would run into the berthing drop a few copies and run out. Khaki were following right afterwards trying to confiscate them. One issue had a report that a reactor sram was caused by an PPWO and not the RO as he was blamed for it. That PPWO Don Pollard and upon my 2nd tour on IKE he was the Reactor Officer. more memeories to follow

UPDATE RECALL Department: Air Author: ABH1 Era: 1998 Date: 12/07/06 This morning driving to work, it was the first snow. I couldn't find a gate open. It just keeps getting later and later as I keep trying to find a way into work. This story pops into my head about one of the guys from V-1. The ship did a check of current recalls on the weekend. This kid's was disconnected. He was told to do a 500 word training topic on the value of updated recalls. He writes this story Death of a New Life Form. A crew (he used V-1 folks)deployed and they ran out of food so the cook started cooking people. First prisoners then the crew. Well, the crew found out and turned on the cook. The crew was breaking down his door as he's praying to God but God is not home. God is out with Moses. The crew break down the door and kill the cook but in the process a new life form (a frog)who could of saved the world got trampelled and killed. He concluded by saying had God of left a proper recall the frog would of saved the world. The DivO loved the story & the kid got the day off!